Woe Is Me

I am broken. Diminished by a thousand years of bad decisions, heavy laden with the baggage of a lifetime. Inside my soul lies a pool of molten lava, a result of my shattered heart. The lava bubbles inside, burping up anger and rage in unpatterned explosions. Will I survive this rage inside me or will it take me down?

The sweetness of life is gone. I am empty. I try to fill the void with sugary treats but they only perpetuate the emptiness and wreak havoc on my body. The pressure inside me mutates the natural response of emptiness.  

THIS iS NOT ME! I scream inside, this is not who I am. This is a result of my experiences, a chain of reaction to events that span a lifetime, if not many. Even my soul hides in the darkest corner unknowing of what the next step should be.

And it seems there is no way out, that I am destined to feel the pressure, to release the rage and bury myself in pity and Depression until I can no longer dig my way out. Woe is me.

But even in my brokenness I see HIM, yet HE is far away where I have placed HIM. In a place where I don’t have to shield my eyes in shame. His love warms me and keeps me alive in a cold, unforgiving state.  

HE is always there, even if I am not.

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1 Comment

  1. Edie Libby

    This breaks my heart ❤️. I am so sad that you are so unhappy with your life. I love you very much and want to come to you right now and hug you tightly! I am relieved that you indicate at the end of this, (I think) that you know that God is as close as you allow Him to be. He brings hope to the hopeless and the Son to shine in the dark. Your old Auntie loves you more than I can express in words but God loves you even more.

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